The Top 4 Ways to Entertain Yourself in Winter
What season comes to mind when you think about water activities? Winter! Wait, what do you mean summer? What kind of mixed up crazy planet do you live on? Summer is tornado season; I guess tornados can be pretty fun if you like high-risk low-reward activities and are all crazy and the like.
But for those of us not populating crazy town, we think about winter when we think about water. After all, what is snow other than beautiful frozen water, crafted to perfection by the raw power of the elements? Snow is nature’s form of modern dance. Well, maybe not modern dance, but you get the idea.
Now that we’re on the same page, let’s go ahead and get to that list.
4. Water Fights
No, not snowball fights, water fights. Sure most kids these days think that winter is the season of snowballs. But, they’re wrong. The next time you get invited (or not invited, I’m not picky) to a friendly snowball fight, surprise them by bringing a water gun filled with heated water to the fight.
Who are we kidding though? There hasn’t been a friendly snowball fight in the last 150 years. Every kid takes whatever chance he can get to put a rock in their ball, or dip it in partially melted water, or rub it in gravel. So why not do what not get the drop on them by bringing out something no one is expecting: your hose.
You will be the talk of the neighborhood for weeks and every doctor will thank you for helping them get that extra cash they needed for the Holidays thanks to all the pneumonia they’ll be treating.
3. Swimming in a Heated Pool
Cold weather sucks. No one likes it. Anyone who does like it does like it must be brought to understand the meaning of pain by stripping them down to their undies and tossing them in the nearest lake. Drive if you have to with them strapped onto the roof.
But this is not an article about revenge or teaching someone a lesson, yet. This is an article about enjoying water during a season of ice. I know of no better way to enjoy yourself during this bitterly cold season than to ignore the fact that it exists entirely. Get yourself to a heated pool.
There is nothing like soaking in a hot tub in the middle of an evening snowfall. Seriously, it’s beautiful. I love to stand up and watch the steam float up off my body into the night sky, pretending that I’m a god of heat trapped on Earth in these frigid months.
If you don’t have a heated pool, don’t worry about it. Just go over to the Jenson’s while they’re enjoying their Christmas holiday in Florida and use their pool. And don’t worry about getting in trouble, it’s not like everyone in the block hasn’t done it before.
2. Drinking Hot Chocolate
If for some reason, you get stuck outside at any time during the months of November through February, then there is only one thing to do. Cry.
After you’d had a nice cry, make yourself a cup of hot chocolate. You’ll feel so good that you’ll almost forget the horror that is being outside at this time of year.
My dad has this amazing filter that he uses. Instead of buying filtered water by the gallon, he fills up the container in the sink and the places it on our filter. This bad boy softens the water instantly and even has a flash boiling system that lets him make instant hot chocolate. This thing is amazing. I’ve even used it to filled up water pistols for unsuspecting snowball fighters.
1. Going to Florida
This is only to be considered if for any reason the above suggestions fail you in any way. Or if you’ve used the hose one too many times in a snowball fight, then it is to be used as your escape plan. Get out and don’t come back until spring. Hopefully it will all have blown over by then.
In all seriousness though, go to Florida. It is your only safe haven in this season of ice and death.
By Andrew Whittaker
Andrew Whittaker is a graduate of Utah Valley University’s Creative Writing program. He writes articles for companies selling services such as a water softener in Utah. When not writing about water, he writes fantasy novels.